The Face of Incompetence

Before we moved in, the previous tenant had some problems and the fire department had to come over and bust down her door. Our landlord hadn't changed the door when we moved in, and that was the first thing we asked her to do. Here is how events have panned out so far:

1. Landlord said they had ordered the door.
2. About two weeks later, landlord said they just went in the day before to order the door, but it was backordered.
3. Two weeks later, landlord said they were going in the next day to order the door.
4. About two weeks after that, landlord said they didn't make the size we needed anymore.
5. Couple days later, landlord comes to fix the sink and takes measurements for door so a special order can be done.
6. Few days after that, landlord comes back for more measurements.
7. About a week and a half later, landlord calls at 10:30 to say they have the door and he'll be here in half an hour. Short notice, but I want the door, so I don't fuss.
8. Landlord comes with the door. Door doesn't fit. Landlord then removes the new locks from the door and puts them on the old door, with much sweat and cursing in Portugese to his friend. Remember, the old door is dented in right where the lock goes. Landlord says he has to take the new door back to get it re-made. I am assuming that we are going to start back at the top of this list, as far as the next chain of events go.
9. When our landlord leaves, I notice he replaced our doorknob with a deadbolt. The door won't shut unless it's locked and you need a key to get in and out. If you don't think this is a big deal, try shutting your front door without using the doorknob, and then try locking as you're trying to keep it shut. We have to turn the deadbolt just enough so the key won't come out of the lock, but not enough so the deadbolt slides out too far and hits the trim, then pull on the key to get the door shut, then lock it without pushing the door back in again. Frustrating and dangerous as well, since we'd have to hunt down our keys to let ourselves out of our house in the case of a fire.
10. I start plotting my landlord's demise. It involves Giant South African cockroaches, sewer sludge, and a giant aquarium.

Does It Look Like I'm Deaf?

I was rummaging around the church's kitchen on Sunday, trying to find props for the Sunbeam class, when this woman came into the room. She asked me if there were any cookies leftover, signing it as she went (we share the building with the deaf branch, and I guess she wanted to cover her bases as far as communication went). I told her I wasn't sure if there were cookies left because I wasn't involved in whatever activity was taking place. Then, still signing, she asked where the cookies were being kept. Again, told her I didn't know, that maybe they were in the fridge. She asked a third time if I knew about the stupid cookies, and in response to my very confused face she asked if I could hear her. Ummm, yeah, do I sound deaf?

When she finally got the picture about the cookies, she said, "You must think I'm crazy, huh?" I didn't answer, because I didn't know how to sign "yes".

1. Why would someone manufacture an alarm clock that buzzes for an hour and a half before it turns itself off? Really, if you don't wake up after the first ten minutes, are you going to wake up at all?

2. Why don't people check their alarm clocks to make sure they are turned off before they go on vacation?

3. Why does the alarm clock from #1 have to be paired with the irresponsible alarm clock owner that shares a condo wall with us?

4. When are they getting home?

I don't like being woke at 6 a.m. on Saturday, and again on Sunday, and again on Monday. But maybe I'm just a crusty person who doesn't like having fun.

Tipsy

Apparently Ian's apple juice was a bit off.

Meal Pour Deux

When Jesse got home from scouts last night we were both pretty starving, due to the fact that I hadn't made dinner. So I convinced him that I would be the best wife ever if he would go get us some Boston Market, and he took the bait, even though it was a monsoon outside. We decided to get the three-person meal and add some stuff of our own to it to make it stretch two nights, so then it would average out to $10/meal, instead of having one meal that cost $20.

When he came back with the littlest chicken ever, we thought maybe our plan was in danger. After the meal, when we had eaten the whole chicken plus almost all of the 3 "large" sides, it finally hit home that our idea of stretching a meal for three into two meals for two was what most people would call foolish. But it was pretty good tasting foolishness.

Eyesore

Why is this:

so much more offensive than this:

or this?


Our landlord got a letter from the condo association instructing us to move Jesse's bike off of the balcony because it was against condo rules to have it there. What they forgot to do was remind us that dancing and having fun are against the rules, too. (I know that last part didn't make sense, but when the message was relayed by our landlord, I immediately tacked that last part on in my head. And this situation totally reminds me of the Colony's pointless rules, and the dear girl who uttered that last phrase.)

What's with the lame rules? They should at least make rules that have a purpose. In our case, for instance, they would be better served by having a rule against keeping trash on your balcony. I guess I shouldn't complain; they are just reminding me why I never want to live in a condominium.

Oh, and because I love my husband, I won't cast blame for why the trash is there. Or maybe I will, but in an indirect way.

Isn't A Shower Supposed To Be Relaxing?

The other day I was taking a shower and Ian was playing in the bathroom (I know it sounds gross, but there's no other way, so I just keep it extra clean) with his toys. I was washing off my mascara and I felt something hit my foot. I looked down and saw Ian in the tub, just walking around. When he saw me turned around, he cruised on by me and started playing with the hot and cold knobs as natural as can be, like he didn't notice he was getting soaking wet.

People who don't have children yet, enjoy your showers, because they are a little less relaxing when you have a cranky baby hurrying you along.

Ugly Duckling

Sorry for the blog's unharmonious color scheme. I'm trying to find something that will work out, but it's taking a while. Plus, we just got internet on Wednesday, so I didn't have ready access to the internet. But I'll stop making excuses and just fix the problem.

Green Tomfoolery

It's not "green" if you replace things that don't need replacing with things that are "green". It's called consumerism, which is the antithesis of "green". It's also foolish.