The Face of Incompetence

Before we moved in, the previous tenant had some problems and the fire department had to come over and bust down her door. Our landlord hadn't changed the door when we moved in, and that was the first thing we asked her to do. Here is how events have panned out so far:

1. Landlord said they had ordered the door.
2. About two weeks later, landlord said they just went in the day before to order the door, but it was backordered.
3. Two weeks later, landlord said they were going in the next day to order the door.
4. About two weeks after that, landlord said they didn't make the size we needed anymore.
5. Couple days later, landlord comes to fix the sink and takes measurements for door so a special order can be done.
6. Few days after that, landlord comes back for more measurements.
7. About a week and a half later, landlord calls at 10:30 to say they have the door and he'll be here in half an hour. Short notice, but I want the door, so I don't fuss.
8. Landlord comes with the door. Door doesn't fit. Landlord then removes the new locks from the door and puts them on the old door, with much sweat and cursing in Portugese to his friend. Remember, the old door is dented in right where the lock goes. Landlord says he has to take the new door back to get it re-made. I am assuming that we are going to start back at the top of this list, as far as the next chain of events go.
9. When our landlord leaves, I notice he replaced our doorknob with a deadbolt. The door won't shut unless it's locked and you need a key to get in and out. If you don't think this is a big deal, try shutting your front door without using the doorknob, and then try locking as you're trying to keep it shut. We have to turn the deadbolt just enough so the key won't come out of the lock, but not enough so the deadbolt slides out too far and hits the trim, then pull on the key to get the door shut, then lock it without pushing the door back in again. Frustrating and dangerous as well, since we'd have to hunt down our keys to let ourselves out of our house in the case of a fire.
10. I start plotting my landlord's demise. It involves Giant South African cockroaches, sewer sludge, and a giant aquarium.